July 9th

Welcome to 102.7 the Troop. Today we have reason to believe that La Grange, Texas has been wiped out. Our coorespondant there has stopped reporting, after the rise in zombie numbers in that area a few days ago. We ask for a moment of silence. Today is the feast of Juno Caprotina, an ancient Roman fiest. Last night I saw a man get eaten. He had a portable radio/CD player on. That is what led the zombie to him. If you have those devices, do not play them unless you have headphones hooked up to them, or you are in a soundproof room. Remember this, and you will have a better chance of living. Remember to tune in to 102.7 the Troop, your only reliable sourse for zombie news in the post apocalyptic world.